Disability Is Not For The Faint Of Heart

When you have a permanent disability, your presence among those who knew you before you became disabled, changes dramatically.  I think that mostly, it has something to do with your presence.  A presence that reminds most people of their fragility of being human and most don't want to be reminded of that by having you around.

Disability is always with you and even on those few days when you feel good, the number of pills that you have to take and/or the injections by syringe that you administer, reminds you that all is not well.  You one day, finally come to terms with your disability, for sanity's sake but you never feel whole again.  The relationships that you had before your disability, become a thing of the past and the memories, sometimes as corrosive as any acid.

The one's who once expressed love for you, well, many become distant strangers and those few who you do see sometimes, reluctantly remind you that you can't do this or that you can't do that, so you keep your distance from them too.  You find yourself enveloped in a cocoon of deceit, by so many people around you, who offer a superficial smile, while trying to hold back their disgust of your situation.

You reserve yourself to your time by yourself, hoping that when you feel good that day, that you can commit to something briefly with the hopes of finishing, just one small task, but the challenges of remembering what that task was, when you pause, leaves it unfinished and you clueless.  So, nothing meaningful gets done and everything meaningful, is forgotten.  The ones you once loved deeply, are just an allusion of all that love once represented.   

So, you persevere hoping that you'll live long enough one day to take advantage of any medical discoveries or medical advances, that may be relevant to your condition.  Meanwhile, the absentmindedness, pain and the suffering continues and so too does the reality of it all. 

Allow Me To Introduce MySelf

Hello!  You don’t know me, but maybe you would like to know me?
I don’t know, but maybe you can find out by reading this short letter about me.  I find myself putting myself on this site in hopes of finding someone like-minded like myself.

I know that there are many perceptions about the people who do this sort of thing, putting their information online in hopes of meeting someone who is as serious as they are about meeting someone who is genuine, but you will never truly know unless you do.

I realize that there are some people who leave negative comments about the people who post their intentions online and that there are some foreigners who think bad about some women who post here also.  I’m not here to dwell on those negative people, but try and connect with someone who is positive and as honest as I am.

I don’t want to lose faith in the human race, no mater where we find ourselves in this world.  Much of who we are and what we are, we can attribute to our parents and our birthplace and I believe most people in this world want the same things I do and that is someone to love, who loves them back, no matter where they are from and the chance to express that love in a way that is not only reciprocated but reinforced every day they’re together.

I don’t say these things to make flowery conversation, but to express lightly the depth of my feelings about love.  I believe that each of us has someone, somewhere in the world that is right for us and that we are right for them.  Some of us are lucky enough to find that person in our own backyard and some of us are lucky enough to find that person somewhere in this world.

I believe that our Heavenly Father gives us the wisdom to understand this and the vision to see that someone, when the time is right for us to be together.

I know that not everyone who puts their personal posting here have true intentions, but have a hidden agenda and to those people, I ask, please go elsewhere, because my intentions are honorable and I don’t my heart played with and I wouldn’t want that for anyone else’s heart.

If, you are still reading my personal posting, I hope that you understand me.  I don’t mean to offend, but merely tell you honestly what my intentions are and that is to find that one person who completes me.

I’m not here to waste your time and I wouldn’t want you to waste my time.  I’m mature enough to know about love and what it means to be in love and reinforce that love every day.  I have a fertile heart, but I am seeking just one seed to make my heart blossom again.  If, you understand me and feel the same way too, then I would welcome a reply from you.

I am looking to unite with someone who wants to be with me, for all the days of my life and your life and hope that Our Heavenly Father, will give us a long union together.

I don’t have riches or fame, but I do have the wealth of loyalty and presence and I know that is not enough for some women, but then again, I’m not looking for women, I’m looking for one woman.  One woman who knows herself enough to know what loyalty is and what love is and what it takes to keep love alive between two people.

I’m not a doctor or a lawyer, but I’ve studied both medicine and law and have worked in both and now I’ve retired to finding my other half.  My life is simple and my search for a woman who wants to be in a relationship with someone who will love her back, is my occupation.  It pays enough to sustain us both, but the benefits is what I seek.  I want to share my life with you and only you.  You know who you are and I know who I am and the only thing that we don’t know, is when we’ll be together?

Soon I hope, if your hopes are like my own.  We can make your hopes come true and my hopes as real as you are.  I’m waiting and I know this is what you’re waiting for too!