"Every night I die. Every day I'm resurrected. Between night and day, my days are filled with drama and my evenings are flashbacks of the day!" Excerpt from "The Book of Curthom."
I'll interpret the excerpt from "The Book of Curthom." "Every night I die." Curthom has cancer and he doesn't want to own up to it, so he is in the denial phase. He was diagnosed with adrenal cancer 7 years ago. The adrenal glands are above the kidneys and help to control your blood pressure and heart rate. Uncontrolled, the adrenal glands can cause you to blow out your left ventricle, which is the pump part of your heart.
"Every night I die." Curthom knows that his days on this earth are numbered with each beat of his heart, he knows that it subtracts from his lifespan. He is afraid to lay down and go to sleep because he knows he may not wake up the next morning. The inability to sleep when he finally does pass out from being awake so many hours, leads to periods of sleep apnea. Sleep apnea is the disorder that when you sleep you snore and while snoring, you stopped breathing, which dangerously raises your blood pressure to the point of almost having or having a stroke.
So, every night Curthom feels as if, he is dying, because he is uncertain if he will wake up or not the following morning.
"Every day I'm resurrected." "First, I see the stars and seconds later, I see the light and moments later, I can see my surroundings." Waking up, Curthom realizes that he has been giving another day of life. "With a heavy head, I squint my eyes from the pain of the light around me and the migraines that rule my day." He wakes up with a debilitating headache and burning eyes. He is grateful for another day of living, but knows that in order to get through the day, "each step is like the Grand Canyon, so I walk like seagull on hot sand." For the first few hours of his day, he is bothered by the migraines, probably caused by the sleep apnea, high blood pressure and lack of sleep, and finds it challenging standing and walking.
From my first reading of "The Book of Curthom," I have always tried to understand the underlying meanings and the era in which the excerpt was written. I have spent considerable time applying the teachings from "The Book of Curthom," which is not really a book in general circulation, to my life and have benefited greatly in my understanding of life in general.
I don't think that "The Book of Curthom" was written for any specific audience, but rather as a diary of sort of the human condition and how we as humans react to those conditions. Like many writings of the "Ancients," nothing was really written down until someone with the fortitude and passion for sharing what they had learned, committed their understanding to papyrus, wood, stone or paper.
From my own personal experience, much of "The Book of Curthom," exists within the personal narratives of living out in the country of swampy Carolinas, the plains of Wyoming and Idaho, the coast of Portugal, urban London, the flagrant harbor off China and the jungles of Southeast Asia. There is probably nothing new in the book, but the way the book goes on to express incidents in time, is worth reading.
Perhaps one fine day, I shall capture the place and time of "The Book of Curthom" and commit it to digital, so that the whole world can read it online. It is an ambition that I am going to do one post at a time. That is the beauty of life you know. You can have time or you can have something else in your life that occupies your time to the point where you don't have any time.
However we interact with time, keep in mind that we can never replace it. We can use time to do many things, but we can never go back in time and do something, so make sure however you spend your time, make sure that it leads to positive memories.
"Between night and day, my days are filled with drama and my evenings are flashbacks of the day." Curthom goes through each day negotiating between what he is experiencing and the stresses associated with that experience. The medical appointments, the tests, the treatments, the procedures, the surgeries, and the prognosis. A never ending saga of good news, bad news, lies, betrayals and the memories of each event conveniently played back enough times to exhaust any waking thought.
"The Book of Curthom" is a book of resurrection. It is a book of faith. It is a book of hope. It is a book of redemption at the expense of political correctness and exposes the hypocrisy that we have accepted as the "norm." If, you believe that life is as real as dirt and that we all get dirty sometimes, then you will find a lot of life in "The Book of Curthom," an enlightening read. So, until next time, look for excerpts from "The Book of Curthom," in upcoming posts.
